Unanswered Love

The matter of unanswered love at this age - as well as at any other age - is something very common. All adolescents have suffered it. When I was your age I liked a girl named Jennifer. But as hard as I tried to conquer her, I never succeeded. Perhaps I wasn't her type and she only saw the friend in me I was. She respected me and I respected her but there wasn't the chance to catch her attention. I played all my cards as well as you did according to what you have written me. But it turned out that she liked a boy named Hugo and he ended up being her boyfriend. I told her that I was in love with her and she said to me that she loved me as well but only as a friend and that she didn't want to hurt my feelings. It affected me a lot. But, like in many stages of my life, I overcame the pain and kept on going.

Once I moved to another city I lost contact and it was just an episode of my life although I had suffered intensively at the time I was involved. All of my friends knew about my anguish. I remember that during that time we created a youth club I organized where we had reunions and parties over the weekends.

Passing this stage it became a beautiful memory of this time that was characterized by Rock music.

I told you all that with the purpose that you see that one day you will revive such memories of the time that you are actually going through. Memories accompany us throughout our whole life and we will always associate certain things, like music, with our experiences of the past.

Therefore unanswered love that one suffers results in anguish and the truth is that there is nothing more to do than wait. There is always the chance to win the heart of the admired one but it is one chance out of a hundred.

Among people - adolescents as well as adults - exists a mutual biochemical acceptance or rejection that results insurmountable. If the girl you like doesn't show any interest in you, she might have a smaller degree of maturity compared to yours and will maybe show interest in the future. But don't have illusions about that.

Analyse how many girls could feel the same for you that you feel towards this girl. Pay attention to this phenomenon. Sometimes you loose interest in other girls that could as well be your girlfriend while concentrating on one that doesn't respond your feelings.

In short: In life it is always important to put all energy and effort in achieving ones goals and objects. So with love. Because there comes a moment in which we should reflect and ask ourselves: Have we done everything possible to achieve what we wished to achieve? If the answer is yes, you pass on to a new chapter of your life. You have got it all ahead of you.

One variable, as a simple test of the strategy, that you could use is: Drop your interest for this girl you fell in love with all of a sudden. Pay attention to other girls, talk to them, have fun with them, invite them. Do it in the manner so that she would recognize that you have changed. Don't call her. Don't ask her about things that have to do with homework. Feign to ignore her. Keep strong and in this position as long as necessary or as long as you can endure it. Make it seem as everything was just as usual. But abrupt.

Then look how she reacts but keep being the same way. Analyse the situation. If you notice a slight change, slow down a little and return to your firm position. Then observe. If the change you noticed is obvious, don't stop until she moves one step towards you that assures you can do one on you part.

If you don't notice any changes and it keeps the same way as before, drop your proposal because this girl just doesn't have any interest in you. You have done everything you possibly could. Maybe one day in your future you meet her again and a new situation arises. Or it simply stays a memory and you remember her as I remember Jennifer.