Adolescence and Relationship with an Adult

For the order of priorities I will reply as follows:

1.If you don't really want to keep being with him you simply have to tell him so. This is the most logical thing to do. The age difference 17-30 is very high and insurmountable when it comes to share the same ideas and affinities. You are young and have all your future still ahead of you whereas he has already formed his ideas and as a young adult his aims could be very different in comparison to yours.

2.With the time age difference isn't quite that important and a woman that is between 25 and 30 years old can love someone and have a relationship with someone who is either a lot older or even twice as old as herself. A complementary relationship where there could be a wide range of common subjects that profoundly binds them to one another, though respecting and tolerating their different points of view.

You, on the other hand, are still going through development although entering the last stage of your adolescence. And there is one aspect you should be aware of. You said that you have had indirect sexual contact with this person. This indicates that you felt the necessity to do what you have done and he, for his experience, has taken you to higher levels of excitement that interfered with your defences to avoid it. And it is something natural respecting the age you have...But be careful. He is at the point to commit A CRIME according to most national legislations because you are still a minor and the act he could lead you to is considered a rape.

The term RAPE comes from the Latin word "stuprum" and means "carnal access of a woman by a man that abuses her confidence or succeeds by using a trick".

My advice is, in case you don't feel like engaging in a sentimental commitment with him, to simply leave him and if he tries to pressure you, tell him that he is about to commit a crime.

If he tries to pressure you by saying that he will tell your friends and family that you have had an intimate relationship with him, face the situation. Tell him that you are ready to tell all about him and your relationship towards your parents and that you could ask them to go to court and testify that he has abused a minor.

Even though you have agreed to it, it will still be seen as "an abuse". You have the advantage that you are still under legal age.

I think that you have been simply carried away because you have been in the state of sexual excitement that is almost unstoppable, he knew about and, for his experience, knew how to steer it cleverly.

But, if you think you feel a certain degree of sentimental commitment towards him, you should try to analyse your situation, your interests, your future, your plans and projects as a woman, the meaning of a relationship with an older person, the security that it could mean without it being only the simple whim provoked in each other for your sexualities.

I tell you for experience that the sex element throughout the youth turns to be a risk for our future. We believe to love somebody we have or had indirect or direct sexual contacts with and the fear we have in losing the pleasure of this sexual relationship inhibits us to leave it. We aren't aware that we will have other opportunities in our future and that the unstoppable feeling of our young sexuality that you might have at this age does also have other ways to be released and that keep you safe from a direct relationship and a lot of commitment.

If you still feel a certain degree of a sentimental commitment after reflecting your relationship, think it over again. Principally there is nothing reprehensible about having a relationship with an older man. You aren't the only case in history and won't be the last. I simply recommend you to think it over wisely before you keep going.

2.If there had been taking place indirect sexual contact, such as rubbing, there is the risk of getting pregnant. They are less likely but the risk does exist. It is possible that his semen from ejaculating got very near your outer lips and got actually into your vagina. It is possible and to assure that you are alright, you should do a pregnancy test.

Another way is to wait for your next menstrual period. If you notice a delay, you should do the test right away. If this turns out to be positive, saying that you are pregnant, you need to tell your parents for the civil responsibilities of the father, for your health and the baby that is growing inside you.