My girlfriend is 17 years old, I am 18. She is incapable of saying "I love you" and I don't know whether it is for her pride or for fear and I just don't know why she doesn't love me. On the other hand her actions and behaviour show me the opposite. What does it mean that she doesn't express herself like I would so much like to hear?

There are a lot of reasons that explain why your girlfriend doesn't put in words what, as you have indicated, she shows through actions. Among them are fear; the incapability to articulate words that would reveal her inside, her emotions; the avoidance to agree to a commitment that goes further than a teen relationship and, finally, the lack of fluid communication between the two of you.

Often at your age, definite love doesn't equal to kiss, embrace and touch each other, to walk taking each others hands or demonstrating passion in moments of intimacy.

All these expressions mean LOVE but understand it as a LOVE AT THE STAGE OF ADOLESCENCE - as TEEN LOVE. A love that could be transitory, unstable and that will only mature with time if you both keep it.

As for the previous, it could well be that your girlfriend feels attracted to you, and loves you in the sense that she has expressed towards you through her behaviour. Perhaps, she just doesn't want to say that she loves you because she responsibly thinks and sees that you both are still in the stage of teen relationships that don't mean more than a transitory phase. And as a consequence, if she meets another boy some day and she feels attracted to him, she will simply tell you goodbye.

You are in the same situation. If you meet another girl tomorrow that you like and fall in love with: Are you in the condition to confirm now, at this moment, that you will be strong and faithful towards you current girlfriend?

To say "I love you" could be words of very great meaning for your girlfriend, with a sense that goes beyond the teenage years. And you have to accept it that way. As long as she expresses her love in another way, you can only wait.

But view your situation realistically and honestly. Perhaps she keeps a relationship with you that is less intensive than what you feel about it.

Perhaps she views your relationship as something that will go by and that simply emerged for a mutual physical attraction and the proper impulse and natural need of affection by which youth is characterised.

My advice is to talk with her directly about your worries regarding this aspect. To ask her openly why it costs her so much to tell you "I love you" in a calm, mature manner, without hurting her and without you trying to play the part of the victim.

After she has responded you, you can obtain conclusions from what I have said.

Asked by a boy from Spain